Tea parties, brunches, and luncheons are the perfect settings for lively conversation, meaningful connections, and, of course, delicious food. But have you ever found yourself sitting at a beautifully set table, unsure of how to break the silence? You’re not alone.
Striking up conversations in these settings requires a little finesse. It’s not just about what you say — it’s about when you say it. For instance, asking a question the moment someone takes a bite of their scone can put them in an awkward position (literally, as they try to chew and answer).
In this blog, we’ll cover the best conversation starters for teas, brunches, and luncheons, along with essential table manners that will keep you from being "that person" at the table. By the end, you’ll feel ready to charm any table — from intimate brunches with friends to formal tea parties.
Why Conversation Matters at the Table
Conversation is what makes brunches, teas, and luncheons feel special. Food and drinks may fill your belly, but great conversations fill your heart (aww, right?). That said, no one wants to sit in silence, especially when the room is full of chatter.
Here’s why good conversation matters:
Builds Connections: A thoughtful question or shared story can turn acquaintances into friends.
Prevents Awkward Silences: No one wants to sit in awkward silence while staring at their quiche.
Sets the Tone: Polite, engaging conversations make the experience feel warm, elegant, and memorable.
With that in mind, let’s jump into some conversation starters that will work for any tea, brunch, or luncheon.
15 Conversation Starters for Teas, Brunches, and Luncheons
These questions are perfect for sparking conversation. They’re light, thoughtful, and engaging — and they won’t make anyone feel uncomfortable.
For Tea Parties:
“Which tea flavor do you like best so far?”
“If you could host a tea party with any famous person (past or present), who would it be?”
“What’s the most memorable tea party or gathering you’ve ever attended?”
“Do you have a go-to tea at home, or do you like to try something new every time?”
“What’s one new thing you’ve tried this month — a recipe, hobby, or adventure?”
For Brunch Gatherings:
6. “If you could only eat one brunch item for the rest of your life, what would it be?”
7. “Sweet or savory — which do you go for first on a brunch menu?”
8. “What’s the best brunch spot you’ve ever been to?”
9. “If you were hosting a brunch at home, what would be your signature dish?”
10. “What’s one show, book, or podcast you’re loving right now?”
For Luncheons (Especially Networking Events):
11. “What’s been the most exciting project you’ve worked on this year?”
12. “If you could have lunch with anyone in your field or industry, who would it be and why?”
13. “What’s a skill or hobby you’ve picked up recently?”
14. “Are you a lunchtime multitasker, or do you prefer to take a break and relax?”
15. “Have you been to any interesting events or workshops lately?”
These questions are open-ended, meaning they can’t be answered with just a "yes" or "no." They encourage people to share stories, ideas, and reflections.
Table Manners to Keep in Mind During Conversations
Great conversation goes hand in hand with great etiquette. You might have the perfect question lined up, but if you ask it at the wrong time, you can make your tablemate feel awkward. Here are the top etiquette rules to keep in mind while conversing during a tea, brunch, or luncheon.
1. Don’t Ask a Question While Someone Is Mid-Bite
This one happens all the time. You’ve just asked someone a question, and they’ve just taken a bite of their scone, quiche, or croissant. Now they’re left trying to chew and answer at the same time, sometimes covering their mouth or awkwardly pointing to their food like, "hold on, I’m chewing!"
What to Do Instead:
Wait for a pause: Ask questions when it’s clear that no one is chewing.
Be patient: If they’re chewing, give them a moment. Stay quiet or offer a smile instead of rushing them to respond.
What NOT to Do:
Don’t ask a question right after they’ve taken a big bite.
Don’t pressure someone to respond while they’re chewing.
2. Avoid Talking With Your Mouth Full
We’ve heard this rule since we were kids, but somehow, it still happens. You might be in the middle of a compelling story when the server brings your avocado toast. You take a bite — but you’re not done telling your story. So you do it. You talk while chewing.
Why It’s Rude:
It’s distracting for others.
It can be unpleasant to see food in someone’s mouth while they’re talking.
What to Do Instead:
Pause the story, chew, and then continue.
If the table is hanging on to your every word, let them wait 5 more seconds while you finish chewing.
3. Don’t Use Your Napkin as a Mouth Cover
If you’ve ever seen someone cover their mouth with their napkin to answer a question, you’ll understand why this rule exists. It’s tempting to use your napkin as a “shield” when you get caught mid-bite, but this isn’t ideal.
Why It’s Rude:
Napkins are for blotting, not for covering your face.
It draws attention to the fact that you’re eating — and eating isn’t something you need to "hide" at a meal.
What to Do Instead:
If you’re chewing, hold up a polite "one moment" finger (just one, not the whole hand) to signal that you’ll respond in a second.
If someone asks you a question while you’re chewing, smile, chew, and finish before you answer. It’s okay to take your time.
4. Handle Your Napkin Properly
Since we’re on the subject of napkins, let’s cover some quick napkin etiquette.
Place it on your lap as soon as you sit down.
Blot, don’t wipe: If you need to dab your mouth, use one small corner of the napkin.
Never use it as a tissue: Napkins are not for blowing your nose — step away if you need to.
Pro Tip: How to Be a Great Conversationalist
It’s one thing to ask great questions — but being a thoughtful listener is even more important. Here’s how to master the art of being an attentive stablemate:
Make Eye Contact: Look at the person speaking, not your plate.
Don’t Interrupt: Let others finish their thoughts before responding.
Offer Encouragement: Use encouraging words like "I’d love to hear more" or "That’s so interesting."
Keep Your Phone Away: Checking your phone mid-conversation sends a message that the person in front of you isn’t a priority.
Final Thoughts
Teas, brunches, and luncheons are opportunities to connect with others, build relationships, and enjoy delicious food. But it’s not just about what’s on your plate — it’s about what’s said at the table. With the right conversation starters and polite table manners, you’ll create an environment where everyone feels seen, heard, and respected.
So next time you’re at a gathering, try one of these conversation starters:
“Which tea flavor do you like best so far?”
“If you could only eat one brunch item for the rest of your life, what would it be?”
“What’s been the most exciting project you’ve worked on this year?”
Be mindful of table manners, too. No talking with your mouth full, no covering your face with a napkin, and definitely no asking questions while someone is mid-bite. These little things might seem small, but they make a big difference in how you’re remembered at the table.
If you’re ready to master table etiquette, check out our Afternoon Tea Etiquette Classes at Poised & Proper. Learn how to navigate tea parties, luncheons, and formal dining experiences with confidence and grace. Book your spot today using our class calendar! 🍽️🫖
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